1. Can I go to the theatre? Asks a mosquito to her mother. "Yes but be aware, pay attention during the applause."
  2. When you harass a boy, pull his pants down and your skirt up, because you can run faster with your skirt up than he with his pants down.
  3. There are three girls in the sixth grade ... A blond a brown and a red. Who has the biggest boops? ............ The blond because she already reached the age of 20!!!
  4.  If I'd had a face like yours, I'd sue my parents!
  5. How to keep an idiot entertained *press down*....................................... How to keep an idiot entertained *press up*
  6. Can I have your picture? ......... I save natural disasters
  7. Of course... If you want something there is always a way to get there. Unfortunately on my way there are road works.
  8. You wanna come to my place for some pizza and sex? No? Why, don't you like pizza?!
  9. I hate it when you leave, but I would like to see you go.
  10. When do you know a woman is going to say something interesting? .... When she starts with "My husband said..."
  11. One chicken to an other: are you tokkin' to me?
  12. Man says to his wife: Let me take a picture of your breasts, than I can always look at them. Wife: Let me take a picture of you penis, I will have it enlarged. 
  13. A blond woman picks up a 100. Was it a smart or a stupid blond one? ...................... stupid of course, there are no others
  14. What's the difference between blonds and traffic-signs? Some signs say stop.
  15. When god created the men he was only kidding
  16. Why does a stupid blond woman sneak past the pharmacy? ................. She does not want to wake the sleeping tablets!
  17. Dear God, I will keep it brief otherwise they will steal my dinner. AMEN

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